Having been raised in the internet era, I’ve grown up having email etiquette ground into me. The standard format of bubbly yet professional emails feels like second nature to me. And yet, I’ve often run into teachers who respond to my perfectly formatted email with two sentences and a “Sent from my iPhone.”
Meanwhile, texting with older family members is a cultural joke. The older generation’s misuse of the Face with Tears of Joy emoji is a big meme, with many examples of Boomers mistakenly using it in place of a sobbing emoji to announce family deaths and injuries.
Why is this? Why do older people struggle so much to text, despite the fact that texting has been around for at least 20 years now? Why does one of my grandmothers still sign half her texts and Facebook comments with “Love, Grammy”?
There’s likely a cultural explanation, or maybe it’s just habit. An article by The Outline suggests that many Boomers will use ellipses after their messages to avoid “concrete endings” or to “slow down” the flow of the messages. NYU professor Eliot Borenstein said that, “I like the idea of my comment just kind of…trailing off…in a thoughtful haze…It means I’m still thinking!”
My older family members aren’t big users of the ellipses, but I’ve noticed that the Boomers tend to use short, clipped sentences, and they’ll either use varied punctuation with every sentence or only use periods. I’m sure a message like “That’s very interesting. Thank you for the photos.” is meant to sound more enthusiastic than it comes across. This can be a problem: for Gen Z texters that put their heart and souls into their messages, it can be jarring to send a heartfelt message with emojis and all, only to receive a thumbs up emoji or an “OK.”
My Gen X and Millennial relatives, meanwhile, use longer sentences and more human-sounding punctuation, but still write more formally. Every time my mom sends me a message, it reads like either a thesis paper or a branded social media post. My dad still sends shorter messages with little emotion in them, but I suspect that’s because he’s spent most of my life texting with a traditional keypad on a flip phone, and only got a more modern phone a year or so ago.
It’s possible that what’s known as “multi-tap” texting, the style used on older phones, had a hand in the way Gen X and above sends their messages. Speaking from experience, sending long messages when it takes (at worst) four taps to type a single letter is a nightmare. I can definitely see how spending many years typing like that would hold over into more modern internet conversations.
My fellow Gen Zs and I grew up without these limitations. Full keyboards on computers and phones were what we grew up with, so we have the freedom to write fuller sentences. However, much of Gen Z messages are conveyed through emojis, shorthand, and slang terms (many of which, by the way, come from African American Vernacular English). Our style of texting is often made fun of by older generations who can’t understand what “💀 lmao frfr” could possibly mean.
In my experience, Gen Z texting styles have a similar lifespan to memes. Nobody’s sending pictures of the “I Can Haz Cheezburger” cat anymore, just like nobody’s unironically using “zomg” anymore, because those memes are more than 10 years old. If an older person sent a message to a Gen Zer that contained “on fleek,” “swag,” “YOLO,” or any other outdated term, it would be pretty obvious that they’re either woefully out of touch and/or trying way too hard to sound cool.
The constantly changing internet culture can be daunting for older generations to get into. It must feel like terms go in and out of style with every passing day. On our side of the spectrum, meanwhile, it feels like older generations haven’t changed a bit when it comes to texting.
For any older readers wishing to take a step forward in time, I recommend watching how young people around you text and attempting to add that to your normal style in a way that feels natural. Don’t go overboard or be weird, but if you’re smiling while you write a message, send a smiley face emoji! Use an exclamation mark! Focus on how the person you’re talking to will receive and read your message, and your tone will come across much better.
And in the meantime, if you’ve got an iPhone — take the time to remove the “Sent from my iPhone” email signature. For your own good.
Categories: Opinion
Incredibly dumb. I will text in full sentences with proper punctuation. Sorry if it interferes with the busy lifestyle, but all it seems is that you are looking at your phone instead of really enjoying life and real interaction. Please give us more advice.