On the night of March 3, Sarah Everard was walking home from a friend’s house when she disappeared. She was wearing brightly colored clothing and walking along a busy street in South London. Her body was found on March 10, 56 miles away from where she was last seen. The man charged with kidnapping and killing her, Wayne Couzens, was a police constable.
In the aftermath, a memorial for Everard was disrupted by police officers, with some women being dragged away from the memorial by cops. Assistant Commissioner Helen Ball later said that officers were trying to disband the gathering due to COVID-19 concerns. More outrage has followed as the Government of the United Kingdom on 10 Downing Street has announced “immediate steps” for improving safety include placing plain-clothes officers in pubs and clubs.
While some reactions to Everard’s death have touched on ongoing conversations about police brutality and the disparity between news coverage of women of color and news coverage of white women, Everard’s death has also brought attention back to an age-old discussion: women’s safety.
Taken from a viral post from fitness expert Lucy Mountain, an image of a text reading “Text me when you get home” has become synonymous with the long list of behaviors women have learned to stay safe. Mountain’s post names some of these behaviors, which include sharing locations, wearing certain shoes, holding keys between fingers, taking fake phone calls, planning escape routes and planning what to do in the event of an assault.
“What’s so insidious,” the post continues, “is that these things don’t even feel like ‘special safety tools.’ They’re literally just engrained behaviors and actions we’ve had to pick up since we were little girls (sic). Because ‘that’s just the way it is.’”
The #TextMeWhenYouGetHome hashtag has filled with women sharing their stories on what they do to stay safe. It is also filled with women highlighting the fact that men aren’t taught to fear for their lives and thus don’t take the same precautions women do.
Twitter user @bookfaery02 says that “my female coworkers and I carry pepper spray or guns. My male coworkers don’t carry anything.” User @crisisavoided5 says that “when I met my (boyfriend) for our first date, I sent his pic, address, (number) and our plans to two separate people and said call the police if I’m not back at the end of the night.” User @Calveevoo2614 says she doesn’t “wear a seatbelt in ubers, so I can run if I have to.”
User @SPolinchock says “when I have to walk home at 12 a.m. after working on a project I call my west coast family so my mom doesn’t have to stay up. They have emergency numbers in case something happens to me. I don’t wear headphones. I walk quickly. Women shouldn’t have to live in fear.”
User @RachaelCWoodNZ says that “#TextMeWhenYouGetHome is so ingrained in women that it has become a form of ‘goodbye.’ You don’t go to sleep until you have confirmation messages that your friends are home safe. Are men aware that this is routine for women? We have all planned our defence strategies.”
While the usual “Not All Men” response has come up, it has also been largely ignored. Yes, when women say they are scared of men, they do not mean every individual man. We mean men as an entity, as a whole. Any and every man has the potential to harm, even if many do not.
As a woman, I have also been practicing similar behaviors my whole life. When walking, I keep my keys in a reachable place, and when walking at night I will turn down my music and constantly check around me for any followers. At work, the staff advisor to The Herald has always pressed the editors that leave after dark on production nights to walk with a friend or get a ride from a Safety Escort. I even ask my older brother and dad to text me when they get home after they’ve dropped me off at school.
Point is, women as a whole feel like they need to keep themselves safe from predators and violence, and these fears are not unfounded. In 2019, the University of Chicago surveyed 1,182 women and 1,037 men nationally. 81% of those women and 43% of the men reported experiencing some form of sexual harassment and/or assault. The World Health Organization says that globally one in three women experience physical and/or sexual violence in their lifetime.
Since complete prevention of violence against women relies on societal change and a perfect law system, many women will continue to take the measures they need to to protect themselves from violence. Many of us hope for a time where we can walk alone at night without feeling afraid.
Categories: Opinion
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