Femininity is becoming more celebrated in society. Most would consider this to be good and uplifting to women, but in reality, the only women who truly benefit from this are white women.

I am not the “white standard” and my skin color is not considered beautiful by society, especially considering that I attend a predominantly white institution. I do not wear brand-name clothes, which often affects the way that I am seen by most people. I wear knotless braids instead of wigs, and in my community, wigs are considered to be more mature and feminine.

This is why femininity is so destructive, even if it’s not immediately obvious. I am simply an average woman and I do not get praised for my womanhood like other women do. 

Much emphasis is placed on having your nails done, wearing nice clothes and always having a trendy hairstyle. A Black woman like me who does not pay as much attention to these things is considered less feminine.

It feels like society puts white beauty standards at the forefront. This is damaging to women like me who do not fall under this category. Not only am I fighting to be considered “feminine” within my race but also society as a whole.

Overall, my view of femininity is simple. It’s a rigid social construct that needs to be reconstructed. It only caters to a certain group of women and those women benefit from it. 

Our view of femininity needs to change, with white women often at the forefront of what people see as “feminine.” As a result, Black women are not given the space they need. 

However, this is starting to change. For example, look at actress Danielle Brooks in “The Color Purple.” She is a plus-size Black woman and she is challenging what is considered beautiful in Hollywood and the societal standards of beauty that women are held to. 

I have seen the influence she has on women. I look up to her because I am darker skinned and I know other plus-size women appreciate her for making a space for them.

This is only the start of a new look at femininity through the lens of Black women. We are seeing Black women being placed at the forefront of the conversation, whether that be through the casting of more Black women in media or seeing more Black women in modeling. 

I am glad what is considered feminine is changing. As a woman who is not considered to be the standard of beauty, I love that more women who look like me are being given a chance to show their face and speak their truth. 

I may not be considered feminine today or even tomorrow, but I hope society’s vague definition of femininity will continue to change and evolve for the better. 

We need to make room for all women to be considered feminine and  be celebrated for it, regardless of their race or personal style. 

Categories: Opinion

Tags: Opinion