College can be a great opportunity to meet new people and find romance; however, don’t let fickle-minded people waste your time or energy with a “situationship”.

As someone who has been in a multitude of them, I’ve become a guru of situationship advice. From the extreme of crazies who have tried to get me fired from my job on false allegations, to the average complicated relationship where neither person knows what they want, I’ve encountered the worst of the worst.

That being said, I advise you to be cautious when flirting around with an indecisive love interest.

Your mind is in a constant tug-of-war over questions about the true intentions in a situationship. Does this person really want a long-term relationship, or will this end up being a small fling for temporary relief? It instills a level of doubt and depression in your mind when your crush builds up your hopes of a future together only to shoot them down shortly after.

Dealing with this situationship roller coaster of emotions drastically takes a toll on your mental state. The constant shift in feelings can take up a lot of headspace when you’re trying to stay afloat in classwork, extracurriculars and other personal responsibilities.

Emotional stress can build up and eventually become a distraction that hinders your daily collegiate life. When approaching situationships, you should take steps to ensure your mental health and focus is preserved while navigating a future with your potential partner.

A major personality trait to consider is their ability to have a serious conversation. If you can’t talk about important topics such as your feelings about each other or the infamous “what are we” conversation, then you may need to reconsider the situationship.

Communication is key in romantic partnerships, so if they dodge hard conversations constantly, that should appear as a major red flag that should factor into your decision about the situationship’s status. On the other hand, the words exchanged in deep talks should transcend your conversations and be present in their actions.

While promises made to each other are sacred and should be upheld, they mean nothing if they are only spoken and feel performative. A relationship needs action to validate the hope you share for the future, whether it’s working through an existing struggle or making small displays of affection.

Another big factor in determining a situationship’s validity is how it affects both your mental health and focus. If you notice yourself slipping in class, work or clubs while dealing with the wave of emotion from your crush, it should be a sign that you need to take a step back to preserve your own sanity. While there may be early struggles, a situationship and its results should improve your mood, not sap your happiness in the long term.

Overall, situationships aren’t the worst. Oftentimes, they can blossom into a long-lasting relationship that can further translate into a lifelong bond. However, the constant back-and-forth between the possibility of a future together and the pain of rejection can take a toll and leave you in more pain than it’s worth.

If you do stick to a situationship, take my advice: don’t let them take advantage of you. If they want to flip-flop between their ideas of your future together, tell them to get real or get lost.

Categories: Life