Since what feels like the dawn of time, incorrect beliefs about women have led us to a society where women are harassed, put down, and discriminated against. As we enter Women’s History Month, here are some examples of beliefs we should have left behind long ago.
Women Need to Smile
The concept that a woman must be nice and sweet all the time, otherwise she’s a terrible person, is ridiculous. Women should not be forced to act a certain way to ensure people respect them. Women shouldn’t be told by strangers they don’t know that they need to smile more, or take compliments well, or do anything other than act like they normally would.
Women Exist to Fix You
A girlfriend does not exist to be your therapist, or your mom or your maid. Too many times have there been horror stories of girlfriends and wives doing all the chores around the house while working full time, and then getting in a fight with their significant other when they need to rest or take a break or not bear the full load of the relationship all the time. In a relationship between two adults, both adults should be able to take care of themselves, and the balance of chores in a relationship should be based on willingness and ability to help, rather than misogynistic expectations.
Women Need Certain Body Parts to Be Women
Women come in all shapes and sizes. All are valid, all are women. Trans women are women. Zero debate. Trying to place requirements on what a woman’s body needs to have to be a woman not only harms trans women, but cis women as well.
Oh, by the way, women don’t need to look a certain way to be women, either. A person’s worth and personhood does not depend on their appearance or how much you find them attractive.
Only Women Can…
…be sexually assaulted or abused, have an eating disorder, understand women’s health issues or face discrimination because of their gender. While it’s important to not overshadow the struggles women face with a “well what about men” attitude, ignoring cases when men are sexually assaulted or struggle with eating disorders or discrimination sets everyone back. And refusing to explain women’s health issues to men because “it’s gross” or “they shouldn’t have to hear about that” sets men up for failure later in life in their relationships and parenthoods. (Besides, some men get periods, too. Trans men are men, remember?)
Women Can’t Get…
…ADHD, autism spectrum disorder, behavioral disorders or coronary heart disease. These conditions are drastically underdiagnosed in women because the clinical studies and criterion for diagnoses are largely based on male cases, and can present differently in women. Also, in the case of ADHD and autism, women are socially expected to blend in with their peers, which means the common traits used to diagnose ADHD and autism can be harder to spot and thus harder to diagnose. Without being diagnosed, these conditions can lead to mental and physical health problems down the line.
Women Are Responsible For Preventing Male Gaze
Contrary to what high school dress codes would have you believe, women are not responsible for men staring at them. Dress codes often unnecessarily sexualize girls, disrupt their learning, and teach boys that they don’t have to control their behavior and should instead expect the women around them to adjust their behavior to make them comfortable. Sure, there are inappropriate outfits for certain situations, but a woman dressing a certain way does not automatically mean that she wants to be gawked at, harassed, or assaulted. A woman’s body is not inherently a sexual object, and should not be treated that way.
Many of these beliefs are on their way out, but I believe they should leave a bit faster. As long as they stick around, many women will never know peace, let alone equality.
Categories: Opinion
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